Loneliness NZ

Loneliness Q&A: When...?

Search engines receive many questions about feeling alone and loneliness. In this page, we provide short answers to many of the more commonly searched ‘when’ questions. For fuller answers, we encourage you to explore the website.


When is being alone good?

Being alone is good if you are safe, healthy, and feeling positive about yourself. You need times of solitude to process complex (even uncomfortable) issues you might be experiencing, to reflect and especially for introverts, to recharge your energy. When loneliness arises, that is your signal to seek meaningful company.

When is loneliness okay?

Loneliness is a normal part of human life, frequently happening for short periods as you adjust to change in your life. There is no formula how long it is okay to stay lonely. However, consciously check your progress…are you beginning to feel less lonely more often? If not, seek help.

When does loneliness become a problem?

Feeling lonely becomes a problem when it is prolonged and you can’t find a way to escape loneliness in a healthy way. It is time to seek help if you are starting to show signs of spiraling negative thinking, experiencing mental or physical deterioration.

When will loneliness end?

Loneliness will end when you perceive that you have sufficient quality relationships in various areas of your life. Only you can tell when you have enough people to fulfil your need for meaningful relationships. Close friends, family and colleagues might fulfil different needs.

When do social media friends help with loneliness?

Social media is a great invention to find people, and to keep in touch. However to alleviate loneliness your need for meaningful relationships has to be fulfilled. “Liking” posts, and general commentary will not be sufficient. Regular, private, deeper conversations that add value to you both would help.

When are too many friends a problem?

When you have many friends and you still feel unfulfilled, and lonely it’s time to look at the quality of your friendships, and how you interact with each other. If you do not find it easy to deepen friendships seek professional help.

When should I be worried about others?

Consider whether others might be lonely if they

  • are uncomfortable on their own;
  • are constantly seeking attention;
  • show addictive behaviours;
  • seem to be increasingly unwell;
  • withdraw from others;
  • only have transactional communication;
  • seem overly sad;
  • are overfocused on their pets;
  • become devastated when you leave them.

Do you have any other questions?

Select the coloured button corresponding to your type of question.